Saturday, July 24, 2010


My two oldest, Monkey and Rex-C, have just completed their first paying job outside of our home. They looked after four children while their mothers were busy but in the same room/area. It boggles my mind that they are big enough, old enough, responsible enough to have a babysitting gig. When did that happen?

The transition between child and adult is so gradual, sometimes painfully so, when they repeat the same childish mistakes over and over and over again. When they refuse to remember to do the chore you've told them every morning for a year to do. When they behave like children...wait...they are children. Aren't they?

I get lost trying to know when I should expect what, from whom, at what age. Just that sentence is confusing enough let alone thinking along thous lines. I pray often that they would, and become more responsible. God always seems teach me through my experiences. Shouldn't my children learn through theirs? Do I expect God to just poof my kids with maturity? Look what happens....

To have a job for an hour and a that my boy, who sometimes has trouble being kind to his brother, he is being kind and helpful to a younger boy. My boy who tends to get angry so easily; he is showing so much patience.

Well...Why not my boys? They have grown so much. Little by little they have become, if not men, at least young men. They help with their sister all of the time. Just today they fed her some banana so I could make lunch. They fold laundry, help make meals, shower daily and many other grown-up-ish tasks.

But what about their hearts? What about my heart? I think that is what it really comes down to. Is my heart ready? They will keep growing, hearts, minds, souls and bodies, given opportunity. But my heart? Will it continue to swell with joy while simultaneously breaking from letting go? Do I bandage my heart and step back, hold back (hold them back) to save the ache, or do I plunge in head first into this roll of mother to young men and relish every moment while my heart breaks...and grows.

What a ride. Don't forget to hang on!

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